Steve is a consultant who works in Children’s Services for Haringey, he’s also a foster carer. Steve was approached to discuss his experience of what it is like to foster and why others might want to consider it.
Steve said:
I started fostering when I worked for a local authority as a team manager in child protection and I had to remove some children and place them with a foster carer. When I took these children to the carer’s home, I was overwhelmed at the carer’s strength of compassion for them. This carer also had other children already in her care. In fact, on this visit, the carer had to leave her home to take another foster child of hers to the airport, as this young person was off to China on a gap year experience. This foster carer told me to stay at her house until she got back from the airport! …and I did. I stayed obediently until she returned, and we ended up discussing the topic all evening. That experience changed my life.
Nine foster ‘sons’ later, I can say it is the most wonderful thing I have ever done. I love my job as a social worker but, to me, the best part of my day is having my foster son greet me at the front door after work. Later we will sit at the dinner table and discuss how our days have gone retrospectively.
People say, 'oh it must be overwhelming taking a child into your home' and I just say, 'but the rewards make it so worthwhile'. When I was a ‘Children in Need’ manager, I was so anxious when they placed the very first child with me, I thought ‘will he like me?’ ‘what will he think to my home?’ ‘what will he say when he walks in?’ and when he arrived, I realised he was as nervous as me and we instantly bonded, we recognised we were both feeling a bit out of place, and you just need to be human, to take each hour as it comes.
With the work I do, its positive effects may not be immediately obvious, but years later I have had feedback from those I’ve cared for and they will say ‘do you remember when you said that to me…?’ and as a result… ‘I felt important, I felt safe’. That is a tremendous feeling. Especially as I’ve often thought to myself, and there was me thinking they weren’t even listening! And yes, I do mean this in good humour.
There may be people thinking, 'I can’t work and foster', but you can. Perhaps you could offer respite fostering care or even 2 weekends a month – making a significant difference to other foster carers.
What I really like about Haringey’s fostering service is that they are like a family. They put foster carers at the very heart of what they do, which in turn prioritises their children.
Now being a foster carer is part of my identity. I strongly encourage people to consider giving back if they can. You’re not on your own, there’s a whole team within children’s services that can offer emotional and financial support, and you will be provided with these contacts. So, regardless of what field people work in, pick up the phone and enquire about fostering – see what difference you can make, in any capacity, and be part of an amazing community!